[영어일기]스타워즈에 푹 빠진 형민이-첨삭지도 > 콘텐츠 공모전

Hi, 형민!
스타워즈 영화를 보고 난후 전시회에 갔다니, 정말 많은 것을 보고 느낄 수 있었겠네요.
저도 아이들이랑 다녀왔는데 재미있는 경험이었지요.
포스체험도 좋았지만 다스베이더의 그 카리스마를 느낄 수 있어서 더 좋았답니다.

형민맘님, 그리고 그거 욕심 맞아요..엄마라면 어쩔 수 없는..호호호.

저희 아이들도 뭐 하나 빠지면 형민이처럼 그림 그리고 정리하고

아주 푹 빠져 사는데, 똑같은 생각이 들더라구요.

울 아들이랑 많이 통할것 같은데요? 하하.

한 문장씩 살펴볼게요.

Date : January 18th

Weather : It was windy so my ears froze

Tittle : Soon, Star Wars !!!!!
고칠 곳이 없는 문장들...

Today, Mom said we're going to Koex to go to Star Wars museum at Sunday.
Today, Mom said we're going to Coex on Sunday to see the Star Wars Exhibition.
코엑스의 스펠링을 잘못 알고 있네요.^^ 그리고 스타워즈 박물관은 아니라서,
전시로 고쳤어요. 하나 더, 요일이나 특정한 날은 at, in 이 아니라 on 이라고 했지요?

At this week, everything is going right.
This week, everything is going all right.
at 이란 말을 넣지 않아도 시간을 나타내는 부사구가 된답니다.

Nothing is wrong.
고칠 곳이 없음!

It is better than I planed!
It is better than I planned!
역시 스펠링 실수지요?

In the weekends I am going somewhere good !
On this weekend I am going somewhere good!
또 on 실수..^^

I'm lucky like a bird who gets to eat many food !
I'm lucky like a bird who got much food !
재미있는 표현이긴 한데, 그냥 간단해도 될듯해서
고쳤구요. 음식은 many 로 셀수 없어 much 로 수정했어요.

I think I'll like this weekend now.
I think I'll have fun on this weekend.
좋아한다는 표현보다 have fun 이 나을 듯..

I hope everyday will be like this.

===================================================================================

Date : January 21st

Weather : It was cold so my body freezed.
Weather : It was cold so my body froze.
앞에서는 과거형 froze 를 맞게 썼는데, 여기선 실수했지요? ^^

Tittle : Star wars exibit !
Tittle : Star Wars Exibit !
제목은 대문자로 시작하기~

In the morning, I went to Koex to see the Star Wars exibit.
In the morning, I went to the Coex to see the Star Wars exibit.
역시 코엑스 스펠링 실수입니다.

I learnt that when the Directer was eating hanburgur, he got an idea of the spaceship, Falcon.
I learnt that the director got an idea of the spaceship Falcon when he was eating hamburger.
that when 보다는 주어의 위치를 바꾸는 것으로 문장이 더 자연스러워 질 것 같아 고쳐보았습니다.
그리고 director, hamburger 스펠링도 수정했구요.^^

The imperial troops rode a imperial shuttle sometimes.
The imperial troops rode an imperial shuttle sometimes.
imperial 앞에는 a 가 아니라 an 아 와야지요?

They were clones.

Most Star Wars charactors that are not real have people in them.
Most of imaginative characters in Star Wars had people in them.
not real 보다는 imaginative 가 어떨까해서 바꿔보았습니다.

The dark side was weak, but after an Emperere was made, they got stronger !
The dark side was weak, but after an Empire was made, they got stronger !
Empire 스펠링 오류..^^

I liked it when I tried to feel how the force worked.
I wanted to buy a lightsaber but it was too expencive.
Insted I got a Star Wars sticker.
I'll nerver forget it !
I liked the exhibit because I learnt more about Star Wars.
고칠 부분이 없는 문장이 주욱~~. 딱 한가지, expencive 만 expensive 로 수정해야겠지요?

I could know What made the directer thinking about the design of the spaceship.
I could learn what made the director think about the design of the spaceship.
역시 자연스럽게 고쳐보았습니다~~. director 의 스펠링, 그리고 thinking 은 think 가 되어야 겠지요?

I saw cool verticles.
음...verticles 가 뭘까요...? Please let me know...

I want to go there again.
멋진 일기, 수고 하셨어요. 짝짝짝!

: 형민맘님의 글입니다.
1월동안 아이는 스타워즈의 세계에서 살았습니다.시리즈로 6편의 영화와 영화제작과정을 담은 것까지...총 7편의 영화와스타워즈레고 시리즈를 통한 역할놀이..스스로 제작한 스타워즈 카드및 보드게임..아마..집에서 있는 시간 대부분을 그렇게 보냈나봅니다.참으로 이상한건..초등이전에는 분명...그렇게 뭔가에 빠져 놀라고 도와주기도하고 함께 구르기도 했는데요즘은 하루종일 그러고 있는 모습이 그리 이뿌지만 않다는거...이건 분명 엄마의 숨어있는 욕심과 과대 관심의 꿈틀거림이겠죠?이번방학은 이런 저런 계획은 무색하고 스타워즈와 스키로....꽉 채웠네요. Date : January 18thWeather : It was windy so my ears frozeTittle : Soon, Star Wars !!!!! Today, Mom said we're going to Koex to go to Star Wars museum at Sunday.At this week, everything is going right.Nothing is wrong.It is better than I planed!In the weekends I am going somewhere good !I'm lucky like a bird who gets to eat many food !I think I'll like this weekend now.I hope everyday will be like this.=================================================================================== Date : January 21stWeather : It was cold so my body freezed.Tittle : Star wars exibit ! In the morning, I went to Koex to see the Star Wars exibit.I learnt that when the Directer was eating hanburgur, he got an idea of the spaceship, Falcon.The imperial troops rode a imperial shuttle sometimes.They were clones.Most Star Wars charactors that are not real have people in them.The dark side was weak, but after an Emperere was made, they got stronger !I liked it when I tried to feel how the force worked.I wanted to buy a lightsaber but it was too expencive.Insted I got a Star Wars sticker.I'll nerver forget it !I liked the exhibit because I learnt more about Star Wars. I could know What made the directer thinking about the design of the spaceship.I saw cool verticles.I want to go there again.

네비게이션

콘텐츠 공모전

컨텐츠