님
내 쑥쑥트리
쪽지
내글
스크랩
내댓글
북클럽
날따방
모임터
쑥쑥몰
체험이벤트
로그아웃
PC버전
와우, 너무 멋져요. 상상력도 풍부하고, 문장도 아주 매끄러우면서 읽는 재미가
있습니다. 1학년이라고 하니 더욱 놀랍네요.
한 문장씩 글을 살펴볼게요.^^
Friday, Jan 5, 2007
Friday, Jan. 5th, 2007
영어식 날짜표현으로 수정해봤어요.
it was windy.
It was windy.
첫단어 대문자로 시작하기!
<Mini Park is small but fun>
<Mini Park is Small but Fun>
제목의 각 단어를 대문자로 시작하게 해야합니다.
I made a mini park with some of the blocks.
Inside the Mini Park, there's a rock and roll ride, and a spiny ride, and a gost rollr coster, and a new-cabelcar.
Inside the Mini Park, there are a rock and roll ride, a spiny ride, a ghost roller coster, and a new-cable car.
and 가 너무 많이 반복되서 모두 즐이고 마지막에 한번만 써줬어요.
그리고 케이블카 스펠링이 잘못되었지요?
Well, the rock and roll ride works with a rock, when the rock goes down, the ride goes up.
Well, the rock and roll ride works with a rock. When the rock goes down, the ride goes up.
너무너무 완벽한 문장인데 아깝게 두번째 문장 첫번째가 소문자예요.ㅠ.ㅠ
The spiny ride spins when I get on, and I get dizzy.
The gost roller coster is very fast and gostly spooky, so that's why, and last is the new cabelcar.
The roller coster is very fast and ghostly spooky, so I named it 'Ghost.'
And the last is the new cable car.
이름에 대한 설명인데, 이해를 돕도록 문장구성을 조금 바꿔봤어요.
The new-cabelcar is looking like a top bunk, beacause the 1floor seat has a 2floor seat above it,
It looks like a top bunk, beacause the 2nd floor seat is above the 1st floor seat.
역시 이해가 조금 어려워 간결하게 줄여보았습니다.
and it dosn't go on a string, it goses on tracks!
But it doesn't go under a string, it goes on tracks!
대문자로 시작하기, 그리고 문맥에 맞춰 but 으로 바꾸기를 해봤습니다.
The park is so small that small dummy people can go in.
When I playd with park, I felt that I was rideing.
When I played with park, I felt like I was riding.
스펠링이 조금 틀리지요?
잘 쓰셨어요~!!!
: beomjun님의 글입니다.
처음 쓰는 영어일기라 많이 부족하고 어설프지만 혼자 힘으로 쓴 일기라 이 기회에 첨삭지도 받는게 좋을 것 같아서 올립니다. 고칠 부분이 많아서 힘드시겠지만 부탁드립니다.하루종일 블럭 가지고 상상놀이 하다가 흥분이 가시지 않은 상태에서 쓴 일기라 문장들이 좀 장황합니다.^^;; Friday, Jan 5, 2007it was windy.<Mini Park is small but fun>I made a mini park with some of the blocks.Inside the Mini Park, there's a rock and roll ride, and a spiny ride, and a gost rollr coster, and a new-cabelcar.Well, the rock and roll ride works with a rock, when the rock goes down, the ride goes up.The spiny ride spins when I get on, and I get dizzy.The gost roller coster is very fast and gostly spooky, so that's why, and last is the new cabelcar.The new-cabelcar is looking like a top bunk, beacause the 1floor seat has a 2floor seat above it, and it dosn't go on a string, it goses on tracks!The park is so small that small dummy people can go in.When I playd with park, I felt that I was rideing.
[영어일기]재미있는 유령놀이-첨삭지도 
