아래의 첨삭결과는 초등학생이 직접 작성한 영어작문을 원어민 선생님이 실제로 첨삭지도 해주신 내용입니다. 또래 아이들의 영어작문 결과를 통해 내 아이 작문기초도 엳보는 좋은 예가 되시길 바랍니다.
[작문 주제입니다]
What does your dream house look like?
[학생이 작성한 Essay 원문이며 빨간표시는 원어민 선생님이 첨삭(수정)한 부분입니다]
My dream house is a traditional Korean-style house.It's built with soil and wood which 1. is very practical.2. The nails are not necessary because 3. it's just 4. snapped into each 5. woods.
According to the Han Oak, it shows the level of people who live 6. there, 7. also there are 8. seperate rooms for male and female. Also, we use Korean paper for the windows.We spread soy oil on it in order to not 9. to get wet when it rains. It can't avoid the cold and 10. hot. So they used to built with red soil which protects 11. the cold wind and it's thick 12. because it allowed to 13. prevent 14. from coming into the heat inside 15. of the house.To avoid the heat, there is 16. a outdoor living room which blocks the sun and makes it cooler.Also, On Dol 17. was used with fire which keeps the room warm for a long time.
[원어민 선생님의 유형별 첨삭내용이며 어떻게 써야 더 알맞은 표현인지 알 수 있는 대목이죠]
| Spelling/철자 8. seperate : separate | ||
| Grammar_Articles(the, a or an)/관사 2. The nails : Nails 16. a : an | ||
| Grammar_Prepositions(on, at, from, by, to.....)/전치사 11. the : from the 15. of the : the | ||
| Grammar_Conjunction(and, but)/접속사 | ||
| Grammar_Capitalization/대소문자 | ||
| Grammar_Conjugation/동사변화활용 1. is : are 4. snapped : snap 13. prevent : prevents 17. was : is | ||
Grammar_Punctuation/부호사용 7. also : also, | ||
| Essay Format_Sentence Structure/문장의 구성 6. there, : there and 14. from coming into the heat : the heat from coming | ||
| Essay Format_inappropriate Words/단어사용 적절성 3. it's : they will 5. woods : wood 9. to : let it 10. hot : heat |
[학생이 작문한 글에 대해 원어민 선생님이 아래와 같이 코멘트를 남겨 주셨네요]
Hello! You did a good job describing what your dream house look like. Your details are not only relevant but meaningful and informative as well. You have described what kind of house you wanted and at the same time explained why you would like this design and certain materials to be used. It's actually good that you not only wanted a house that is beautiful but functional as well. I would also like to commend your sentences because they are moslty correct in structure and are properly worded. You just have to be mindful of your prepositions and verbs. You have good ideas and you write quite well. I hope you can this way next time. Keep up the good work.


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