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아래의 컨텐츠는 초등학생이 직접 작성한 영어작문을 원어민 선생님이 실제로 첨삭지도 한 내용입니다.
또래 아이들의 영어작문 결과를 통해 내 아이 작문기초도 엳보는 좋은 예가 되시길 바랍니다.
[작문 주제입니다]
Let's talk about the relationship of your friends.
[학생이 작성한 Essay 원문이며 빨간표시는 원어민 선생님이 첨삭(수정)한 부분입니다.]
l have 1. very very many 2. relationsh!!.3. My 4. friends relationsh is 5. Best friends, 6. Bad friends, 7. Good friends,8. My friend. My 9. school best friends name is 혜린, 수민, 정우 and 채림!!But, 10. nowdays 11. not with.12. Because 13. everyday different class. l'm very 14. veyr sad. 15. Nowdays 혜린 16. unpleasant. 17. Assume very severe! My feeling is very bad! But 수민 is very 18. pretty!! 정우 too! 채림 is 19. very very 20. *****!! 채림 21. with feeling 22. is very very 23. good! good! 정우 is very 24. beautiful!! 정우 25. very 26. tall!! 27. Leg 28. is 29. very very 30. long!! 정우 is 31. perfection model!! My G1230 best friends are 정현, 유빈, 32. 민지!! 33. Bus in with chattering 34. very 35. *****!! 정현 36. is a song very 37. glld!!유빈 is very 38. good!! But, 39. nowdays very scared!!민지 is very 40. pretty!! 41. My friends very many!! and 42. everyone very 43. pretty!!
[원어민 선생님의 유형별 첨삭내용이며 어떻게 써야 더 알맞은 표현인지 알 수 있는 대목입니다.]
| Spelling/철자 2. relationsh!! : relationships. 10. nowdays : nowadays 14. veyr : very 15. Nowdays : Nowadays | ||
| Grammar_Articles(the, a or an)/관사 | ||
| Grammar_Prepositions(on, at, from, by, to.....)/전치사 | ||
| Grammar_Conjunction(and, but)/접속사 | ||
| Grammar_Capitalization/대소문자 6. Bad : bad 12. Because : because | ||
| Grammar_Conjugation/동사변화활용 28. is : are | ||
| Grammar_Punctuation/부호사용 19. very : very, 20. *****!! : *****! 24. beautiful!! : beautiful! 26. tall!! : tall! 29. very : very, 30. long!! : long! 35. *****!! : *****! 38. good!! But, : good but 40. pretty!! : pretty! 43. pretty!! : pretty! | ||
| Essay Format_Sentence Structure/문장의 구성 4. friends relationsh is : have different friends 5. Best : like best 7. Good : and good 8. My friend. My : My 9. school best friends name is : best friends in school are 11. not with. : I am not with them 13. everyday different class. : we are in different classes everyday. 16. unpleasant : is unpleasant 18. pretty!! : pretty and 25. very : is very 27. Leg : Her legs 31. perfection model!! : like a model in perfection! 32. 민지!! : and 민지. 33. Bus in with chattering : Chattering in the bus 34. very : is very 39. nowdays very scared!! : scary nowadays. 41. My friends very many!! : I have many friends 42. everyone : they are | ||
| Essay Format_inappropriate Words/단어사용 적절성 1. very very many : many 3. My : I 17. Assume : It is 21. with feeling : feels 22. is very very : very 23. good! good! : good! 36. is : sings 37. glld!! : well. |
[학생이 작문한 글에 대해 원어민 선생님이 아래와 같이 코멘트를 남겨 주셨네요]
Hello! I appreciate your effort in writing this response. I think some of your details are quite relevant because you have discussed your relationship with your friends. However, I noticed that your details are mostly deions of your friends. These details are not what the topic asks for. You should focus more on describing yout relationship with them instead. Please write complete and correct sentences. Practice using the basic sentence patterns as guides. Phrase them with appropriate words and expression!!s. Avoid using Korean characters in an English composition because they cannot be corrected grammatically. Please study the corrections and practice. You can do it.
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