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아래의 컨텐츠는 초등학생이 직접 작성한 영어작문을 원어민 선생님이 실제로 첨삭지도 한 내용입니다.
또래 아이들의 영어작문 결과를 통해 내 아이 작문기초도 엳보는 좋은 예가 되시길 바랍니다.
[작문 주제입니다]
What does your dream house look like?
[학생이 작성한 Essay 원문이며 빨간표시는 원어민 선생님이 첨삭(수정)한 부분입니다]
My dream house is 1. plastic 2. house. Because plastic is easy to 3. disign and plastic is great. If you 4. will make a plastic house with family or friends, you will 5. be 6. *****. But 7. plastic house is not strong so 8. the plastic house 9. is can be 10. crush. But 11. unexpected plastic is a little strong. If I make a plastic house, first, I'll build use the 12. opacity 13. plastic. Because other people 14. don't see in the plastic house. Second, I 15. disign the house. If I 16. make this way, probably this house 17. sell 18. one's.
[원어민 선생님의 유혈별 첨삭내용이며 어떻게 써야 더 알맞은 표현인지 알 수 있는 대목입니다]
| Spelling/철자 3. disign : design 15. disign : will design | ||
| Grammar_Articles(the, a or an)/관사 1. plastic : a plastic 7. plastic : a plastic 8. the : a | ||
| Grammar_Prepositions(on, at, from, by, to.....)/전치사 | ||
| Grammar_Conjunction(and, but)/접속사 | ||
| Grammar_Capitalization/대소문자 | ||
| Grammar_Conjugation/동사변화활용 4. will make : make 9. is can : can 10. crush : crushed 17. sell : will sell | ||
| Grammar_Punctuation/부호사용 2. house. Because : house because 13. plastic. Because : plastic because | ||
| Essay Format_Sentence Structure/문장의 구성 16. make : make it | ||
| Essay Format_inappropriate Words/단어사용 적절성 5. be : have 6. ***** : fun 11. unexpected : unexpectedly, 12. opacity : opaque 14. don't : won't 18. one's. : one. |
[학생이 작성한 작문에 대해 원어민 선생님이 아래와 같이 코멘트를 남겨 주셨네요]
Hi! You have good ideas. The details you have in your essay are relevant and meaningful enough. You have explained what your dream house looks by describing the materials you'll use and how you'll make it. You have also organized your details logically with transition words. Surely, you have good ideas so try to add more deions of your dream house. Also, try to provide a good introduction and conclusion to make your essay more meaningful and complete. Your sentences are quite correct in structure but avoid fragments by not separating the clauses you combined with a conjunction like "because". Choose your words carfully as well. You did well content-wise.
곧 5탄이 Update 됩니다.~~~
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