[초등영작 6탄] 작문실력 100배 올리기 프로젝트!! > 초등영어 게시판

아래의 컨텐츠는 초등학생이 직접 작성한 영어작문을 원어민 선생님이 실제로 첨삭지도 한 내용입니다.
또래 아이들의 영어작문 결과를 통해 내 아이 작문기초도 살~작 엳보는 기회로 활용하세요.

[작문주제입니다]

Your city has decide to build a statue or monument to honor a famous person in your country. Who would you choose?

[학생이 작성한 Essay 원문이며 빨간표시는 원어민 선생님이 첨삭(수정)한 부분입니다]

1. I'll choose Ban Gi 2. Mun person. Because he is 3. a 4. UN president and he is 5. a first 6. UN president in korea. However, 7. buliding 8. statue is very expensive and difficult. But if I bulid his statue, people must respect 9. to him. So people spend money to see 10. him, I earn much money. Still I'll use that money for good 11. works. For instance, I'll help the poor people, give much money to my parents, and contribute for my nation. Therefore, 12. that 13. is very nice 14. choosing. Another reason is 15. our nation 16. don't have a Ban Gi Mun statue.

[원어민 선생님의 유혈별 첨삭내용이며 어떻게 써야 더 알맞은 표현인지 알 수 있는 대목입니다]

Spelling/철자 7. buliding : building
Grammar_Articles(the, a or an)/관사 3. a : the 5. a : the 8. statue : a statue
Grammar_Prepositions(on, at, from, by, to.....)/전치사 9. to him : him
Grammar_Conjunction(and, but)/접속사
Grammar_Capitalization/대소문자
Grammar_Conjugation/동사변화활용 13. is : are 16. don't : doesn't
Grammar_Punctuation/부호사용
Essay Format_Sentence Structure/문장의 구성 2. Mun person. Because : Mun because 4. UN president : Secretary-General of the UN 6. UN president in korea : Korean UN Secretary-General 10. him, I : him and I 15. our : that our
Essay Format_inappropriate Words/단어사용 적절성 1. I'll : I'd 11. works : work 12. that : those 14. choosing. : choices.

[학생이 작성한 작문에 대해 원어민 선생님이 아래와 같이 코멘트를 남겨 주셨네요]

Hello there! Your details are relevant and quite informative since you have stated who you'd choose and why. You were also able to give information about this person. You should just be able to add more details to supprot your opinion. Surely, you have more ideas. Also, try to develop your introduction and conclusion because they are brief. Then use transition words to logically organize all your details and make them flow smoothly. Avoid fragments and follow the subject-verb agreement (singular subject-singular verb). Capitalize proper nouns as well. You have the necessary details. Check the corrections though so you can avoid committing the same mistakes. Good luck next time

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