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아래의 컨텐츠는 초등학생이 직접 작성한 영어작문을 원어민 선생님이 실제로 첨삭지도 한 내용입니다.
또래 아이들의 영어작문 결과를 통해 내 아이 작문기초도 살~작 엳보는 기회로 활용하세요.
[작문제입니다]
Is it better to research on the Internet or in books? Include specific reasons and examples to support your answer.
[학생이 작성한 Essay 원문이며 빨간표시는 원어민 선생님이 첨삭(수정)한 부분입니다]
I think 1. internet is better 2. to research. Now, 3. our 4. earth 5. are digital period. 6. So the majority of people use 7. more Internet than books. 8. And I think 9. it is 10. correct. 11. When we use Internet, there are 12. many 13. Informations. 14. Example, Korea's famous 15. site Naver has 16. site that 17. called 18. 'knowledge in'. I find most 19. of things 20. in there. When I compare 21. this two, they are not 22. equal. 23. Internet is better. 24. So I think 25. Internet is better 26. to 27. research things.
[원어민 선생님의 유혈별 첨삭내용이며 어떻게 써야 더 알맞은 표현인지 알 수 있는 대목입니다]
| Grammar_Articles(the, a or an)/관사 16. site that : a site 23. Internet : The Internet 25. Internet : the Internet | ||
| Grammar_Prepositions(on, at, from, by, to.....)/전치사 2. to : for 14. Example : For example 19. of things : things 20. in there : there 26. to : for | ||
| Grammar_Conjunction(and, but)/접속사 6. So : That is why 8. And I : I 24. So : That is why | ||
| Grammar_Capitalization/대소문자 1. internet : the Internet 4. earth : Earth 18. 'knowledge in' : "Knowledge In" | ||
| Grammar_Conjugation/동사변화활용 | ||
| Grammar_Punctuation/부호사용 17. called : called, | ||
| Essay Format_Sentence Structure/문장의 구성 5. are : is in the 7. more Internet : the Internet more 11. When we use : On the | ||
| Essay Format_inappropriate Words/단어사용 적절성 3. our : the 9. it : this 10. correct : good 12. many : a lot of 13. Informations : information 15. site : search engine, 21. this : these 22. equal : the same 27. research : researching |
[학생이 작성한 작문에 대해 원어민 선생님이 아래와 같이 코멘트를 남겨 주셨네요]
I think the topic was asking you to compare the Internet to books for doing research, and not to another search engine. Anyway, thank you for sharing your ideas. However, I suggest you learn more about sentence construction and how to write an essay. An essay has an introduction, a body, and a conclusion. In addition, the paragraphs should have at least five sentences each, and make sure to put a space between the paragraphs. Review the use of articles and prepositions. If you are not sure which word to use, or about the spelling of a word, use a thesaurus, a dictionary, and the web, or ask your teacher. Use words or phrases like "however", "in addition", and "that is why" instead of beginning your sentences with conjunctions. Proper nouns should always be capitalized. Keep writing!
