[영어첨삭 12탄] 내 아이 영어 Writing 실력은? > 초등영어 게시판

아래의 컨텐츠는 초등학생이 직접 작성한 영어작문을 원어민 선생님이 실제로 첨삭지도 한 내용입니다.
또래 아이들의 영어작문 결과를 통해 내 아이 작문기초도 살~작 엳보는 기회로 활용하세요.

[작문 주제입니다]

Do you like riding a bicycle? Why or why not?

[학생이 작성한 Essay 원문이며 빨간표시는 원어민 선생님이 첨삭(수정)한 부분입니다]

I like 1.to ride a bicycle because it's cool and 2.fast so I love it!! 3.However I'm the 4.2sc the 5.1rd 6.is my friend. 7.from 8.him I 9.can ride 10.fast so I 11.was the 12.2sc in my 13.classroom 14.so I like 15.bicycle

[원어민 선생님의 유혈별 첨삭내용이며 어떻게 써야 더 알맞은 표현인지 알 수 있는 대목입니다]

Spelling/철자 5.1rd : 1st
Grammar_Articles(the, a or an)/관사
Grammar_Prepositions(on, at, from, by, to.....)/전치사
Grammar_Conjunction(and, but)/접속사
Grammar_Capitalization/대소문자 14.so : So,
Grammar_Conjugation/동사변화활용 6.is : would be
Grammar_Punctuation/부호사용 2.fast : fast, 3.However : However, 8.him : him, 10.fast : fast, 13.classroom : classroom. 15.bicycle : bicycles.
Essay Format_Sentence Structure/문장의 구성 1.to ride : riding 4.2sc : 2nd fastest on our group, 7.from : Aside from 9.can ride : ride a bike 12.2sc : 2nd fastest
Essay Format_inappropriate Words/단어사용 적절성 11.was : became

[학생이 작성한 작문에 대해 원어민 선생님이 아래와 같이 코멘트를 남겨 주셨네요]

Wow, you are that fast on a bike? I want to see you ride one time! On your essay, it was going quite well in there -- you had the ideas, but somehow, you cut your essay too short. You had ideas, but you didn't have supporting ideas for them. Next time, try to jot down your ideas first, okay? Use the parts of an essay as your outline when organizing your thoughts. On your sentences, you had a lot of errors regarding verb forms and tenses. You also had errors on subject and verb agreement. Don't neglect minor punctuation errors -- these give your readers breathing space in your essay. Check your spelling first on a dictionary, okay? You could do better than this, just like you can ride faster than the others combined! Keep on going, okay?

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