[초등첨삭 13탄] 내 아이 영어 Writiing 실력은? > 초등영어 게시판

아래의 컨텐츠는 초등학생이 직접 작성한 영어작문을 원어민 선생님이 실제로 첨삭지도 한 내용입니다.
또래 아이들의 영어작문 결과를 통해 내 아이 작문기초!! 살~작 엳보는 기회로 활용하세요.
같은주제로 직접 써보게 하시는 것도 Writing 실력을 Up시키는 좋은 방법입니다.

[작문 주제입니다]

Egypt is one of the most visited countries in the world because of its historical import!!ance. If you could choose to visit anywhere in the world to see ancient and historical structures where would you go? Explain your answer with examples.

[학생이 작성한 Essay 원문이며 빨간표시는 원어민 선생님이 첨삭(수정)한 부분입니다]

I want to go 1. Italy. It is because my family 2. like to go 3. Italy, and there are many unusual 4. thing in 5. Italy's museum. I want to eat 6. Italy's spaghetti.
7. Korea's spaghetti tastes delicious, but I 8. didn't eat any 9. Italy's real foods. If I visit Italy, I 10. would speak 11. with other people, because I want to test my 12. english 13. speaking. In 14. academy, there is a 15. foreigner teacher, but he 16. says slowly. I heard that foreigners always 17. say very fast.
In 18. Korea's museums, there are many historical things, but in Italy, there are many 19. status, and paintings. I want to know more about Italy, and I hope to meet 20. with Italians. I 21. wish Italians are very 22. kind, and nice.

[원어민 선생님의 유혈별 첨삭내용이며 어떻게 써야 더 알맞은 표현인지 알 수 있는 대목입니다]

Grammar_Articles(the, a or an)/관사 14. academy : the academy
Grammar_Prepositions(on, at, from, by, to.....)/전치사 1. Italy : to Italy 3. Italy : to Italy 11. with : to
Grammar_Conjunction(and, but)/접속사
Grammar_Capitalization/대소문자 12. english : English
Grammar_Conjugation/동사변화활용 2. like : likes 8. didn't eat : haven't eaten 10. would : will
Grammar_Punctuation/부호사용 22. kind, : kind
Essay Format_Sentence Structure/문장의 구성 9. Italy's real foods : real Italian food 13. speaking : speaking skills
Essay Format_inappropriate Words/단어사용 적절성 4. thing : things 5. Italy's museum : Italian museums 6. Italy's : Italian 7. Korea's : Korean 15. foreigner : foreign 16. says : speaks 17. say : talk 18. Korea's : Korean 19. status, : statues 20. with : some 21. wish : hope

[학생이 작성한 작문에 대해 원어민 선생님이 아래와 같이 코멘트를 남겨 주셨네요]

I appreciate your effort to write and share your dreams. I agree that Italy is a great and interesting country, and I also want to go there like you. I hope you can go to Italy in the near future, and I'm sure you will enjoy staying there. Anyway, I can say that you have good writing skills based on your article. There are just some parts which are not grammatically correct, and some of your words are not appropriate. For example, you should not say, "I want to go Italy"; you must say, "I want to go to Italy" to make it grammatically correct. Be careful with your nouns as well. You must write "Korean or Italian" than "Korea's or "Italy's" in some of your sentences. Just study the corrections and I hope that next time, you can make a more effective article. I'm sure you can do it, so good luck.

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