[초등첨삭 19탄] 내 아이 영어 Writing 실력은? > 초등영어 게시판

아래의 컨텐츠는 초등학생이 직접 작성한 영어작문을 원어민 선생님이 실제로 첨삭지도 한 내용입니다.
또래 아이들의 영어작문 결과를 통해 내 아이 작문기초!! 살~작 엳보는 기회로 활용하세요.
같은주제로 내 아이에게 직접 써보게 하시는 것도 Writing 실력을 Up시키는 좋은 방법입니다.

[작문주제입니다]

Explain the rules of a famous contest in your country.

[학생이 작성한 Essay 원문이며 빨간표시는 원어민 선생님이 첨삭(수정)한 부분입니다]

1. korea in 2. famous 3. contest 4. "taekwondo"
5. taekwondo 6. is competition 7. and kicking 8. taekwondo is very hard and 9. some 10. easy
11. taekwondo 12. is 13. korea person 14. contrivance 15. boastful
Taekwondo became an official sport in the 2000 Sydney 16. Olympic 17. Taekwondo;the Korean art of (empty-handed) 18. self-defense
19. -finish-

[원어민 선생님의 유혈별 첨삭내용이며 어떻게 써야 더 알맞은 표현인지 알 수 있는 대목입니다]

Grammar_Articles(the, a or an)/관사 2. famous : a famous 12. is : a
Grammar_Prepositions(on, at, from, by, to.....)/전치사 11. taekwondo : In Taekwondo,
Grammar_Conjunction(and, but)/접속사 7. and kicking : kicking 15. boastful : and boastful.
Grammar_Capitalization/대소문자
Grammar_Conjugation/동사변화활용
Grammar_Punctuation/부호사용 10. easy : easy. 18. self-defense : self-defense.
Essay Format_Sentence Structure/문장의 구성 1. korea in : In Korea, 4. "taekwondo" : is a Taekwondo match 5. taekwondo : In a Taekwondo 6. is competition : competition 8. taekwondo : and punching 14. contrivance : is both scheming 17. Taekwondo;the : Taekwondo is the 19. -finish- : The end.
Essay Format_inappropriate Words/단어사용 적절성 3. contest : competition 9. some : sometimes 13. korea : Korean 16. Olympic : Olympics.

[학생이 작성한 작문에 대해 원어민 선생님이 아래와 같이 코멘트를 남겨 주셨네요]

I took up Taekwondo lessons as a young girl and it was a very cool experience. I was fit and disciplined. This sport is famous all over the world, and there certainly is a lot that you can say about it. Add more details to your essay. Make sure that you organize your ideas, and that there is an introduction, body, adn conclusion. The intro must contain an overview of your essay. The body, on the other hand, must contain your ideas' supporting statements. Keep your sentences simple and straightforward. You could make it more interesting by using deive words and specific examples. Observe proper subject-verb agreement and consistency in the tenses. Afterwards, read through the whole thing and correct remaining errors in spelling, punctuation, and capitalization. Good luck!

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