[초등첨삭 36탄] 내 아이 영어 Writing 실력은? > 초등영어 게시판

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[작문제목]

Describe your house or apartment. Then list the ways in which you would improve it with all of your family members in mind.

[학생작문]

I want my room to be bigger and 1. the room has the higher ceiling. 2. and the more bigger living 3. room. and 4. the more 5. room. I want 6. my room is 2. 7. 1 is not 8. enought. 9. i like 10. the room is many. 11. so 12. the roomis became 13. 8. 14. and the veranda. 15. it 16. was too 17. smal. 18. it is bigger than my 19. room. but 20. the veranda is not my veranda. 21. it 22. was my family's 23. veranda. so it 24. have to be bigger. 25. and i want 26. the the carpat. the bigger carpat. 27. so it 28. cover the 29. living room. 30. if it 31. not 32. coverthe livingroom then the 33. carpat is strange. 34. so it 35. have 36. to be cover the 37. livingroom. 38. and the 39. living 40. is have 41. to higher 42. cilling too like 43. the my room. 44. and the 45. apart 46. was made the marble. 47. and the 48. elevater 48. is too be the glass.

[첨삭내용]

Spelling/철자 7. 1 : One 8. enought : enough 13. 8 : eight 17. smal : small 32. coverthe livingroom : cover the living room, 33. carpat : carpet 37. livingroom : living room 42. cilling : ceiling, 48. elevater : elevator
Grammar_Articles(the, a or an)/관사 43. the my : my
Grammar_Prepositions(on, at, from, by, to.....)/전치사
Grammar_Conjunction(and, but)/접속사 27. so : so that
Grammar_Capitalization/대소문자 9. i : I 11. so : So, 15. it : It 18. it : It 21. it : It 25. and i : And I 30. if : If 34. so : So 38. and : And 44. and : And
Grammar_Conjugation/동사변화활용 16. was : is 22. was : is 24. have : has 28. cover : can cover 35. have : has
Grammar_Punctuation/부호사용 3. room. : room, 19. room. : room, 23. veranda. : veranda,
Essay Format_Sentence Structure/문장의 구성 1. the room has the higher : have a higher 2. and the more bigger : I also want a bigger 6. my room is 2 : to have two rooms 10. the room is many : many rooms 12. the roomis became : my rooms should be 14. and the : I also want to change the 26. the the carpat. the bigger carpat. : the carpet to be bigger 29. living : entire living 36. to be : to 46. was made the : must be made of 48. is too be the glass : should be made of glass
Essay Format_inappropriate Words/단어사용 적절성 4. the : have 5. room : rooms 20. the veranda : it 31. not : can't 39. living : living room 40. is : should 41. to : a 45. apart : apartment (?) 47. and : Then

[강사 Comments]

I appreciate your effort to give some specific parts of your house that you would like to improve. I can easily understand your ideas, but you must be careful with your words and sentence construction. You must also remember that it's important to capitalize the first letter of your sentences. Avoid making fragmented or incomplete sentences, too. Learn how to connect and separate your clauses accordingly. Pay attention to your mistakes in grammar and usage of parts of speech. I know you can write a lot better than this, so good luck and keep on practicing.

Have a great day today! Enjoy and learn!

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